I never felt so wicked

This is how I used to feel. And I cannot decide the fact that I no longer feel like this is empowering or doubly heartbreaking.


Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

Just So You Know

Wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. I feel like I'm fucking IN LOVE. With MYSELF. Look at the face! Look at the stupor of serenity! Give me a puddle to jump in!

I Don't Know

Why things that seem so easy for other people are so hard for me. I don't know what makes me different, but I know that I am.

Confession

Most days? I pretty much feel like the coolest person ever.

For Real, Though

I'm beginning to think that maybe this concept of the Universe that I've been relying on...well, guys, I think it's a flawed theory. Maybe there is no natural order to us, or our hearts. There seems to be so much I don't understand, and so little that I fear. There's nothing you can do to me that hasn't already been done. I mean, we all know that. I feel very...inelegant.

Today

It's raining, and I have listened to the same Bon Iver song for about six hours. Today is a good day.